If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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