so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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