I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
