did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
