im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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