Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
