Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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