I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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