its not stalking. its research.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
