I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
