but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
