great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i barfeds in our rink
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
