Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
