I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
