It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
