I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize