video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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