Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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