Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
