the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
