i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
