don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he had hair everywhere except his balls
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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