Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
