No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
