I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
