Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
