That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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