Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
