repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
