if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize