I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
