pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
