You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
