He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
