Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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