my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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