Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
