have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
