i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
