he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
