If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Watching her eat just hurts me
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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