I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
