i think my tv is drunk
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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