The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
