We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
