so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
