We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
