the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
