Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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