recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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