id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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