If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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