Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
