Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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