We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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