Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
