dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize