and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
