No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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