i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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