Non-Jews are for practice
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
