a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
