I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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