She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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