Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm at about main and main street
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
