Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The Olympian is in my bed
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize