i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You smell like stripper and shame
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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