so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
