remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize