i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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