I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
