i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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