Well apparently he's into motor boating.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
