i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
