Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize