Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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