I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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