We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He shit in the fireplace
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
