Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
