Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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