like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize